[To be fair, a black eye (no matter how bad) is still reasonably minor compared to some of the injuries Reno has endured. In his line of work, he considers himself lucky any time he makes it home with all of his limbs in tact, though he'd never admit it out loud. He's survived far worse than this, but Aerith doesn't need to know about the plethora of scars that mar his skin beneath his suit.]

I might have insulted the guy's mother... but in my defense, how was I supposed to know he was such a momma's boy? People got no sense of humor.

[He hisses as her fingertips brush over his bruised skin, jerking his head back more for show than anything else. Even though his eye hurts like fuck, he can still see and as far as he's concerned, it's more of a badge of honor than anything else.]

He was huge. Like, bigger than Rude. Twice his size.

[He leans forward again as she reaches for the Cure, which maybe he should consider adding to his own collection of materia some day. It'd be easy enough to get -- he could probably even convince corporate to pay for it but... nah. More fun playing the injured "hero."]

I would've been able to dodge too, if his girlfriend hadn't been shoving drinks at me all night. [He pauses for dramatic effect, scrunching his nose as though he just had some sort of grand epiphany.]

Actually, maybe it wasn't the comment about his mother that pissed him off...